Day 2 (pg.24-47)

· he took the diagnosis very calmly, and it took him a while to realize the significance of it
· they still knew very little about the tumour, so they could not jump to any conclusions on how to help him he felt no fear upon hearing the diagnosis, other than anticipation of a dismal future
· he put his past in to two categories, pre-wheelchair and post-wheelchair
· he thinks of the pre-illness years as a golden age, and the recent times as a time of bad auspices, gloomy auguries, and shattered expectations
· 1986, he was 62 and he gave no thought to retirement although he was fully eligible for full pension rights in three years, and he did not think about it because he did not expect to live to be 65
· in 1980 he applied for a two year research grant
· he grew up Irish Catholic in the 1930's and 1940's
· his family had graduated from lace-curtain, but working class, Irish to solid middle class in the 1920's, only to crash back down into poverty during the great depression
· his father had been an advertising salesman for a yachting magazine and was doing well enough to buy a house in Rockaway beach(in Queens NY)
· having this job pushed him over the edge of conviviality into alcoholism
· in 1935 his mother contracted breast cancer, grew sicker and weaker, then died in 1937
· by this terrible even they had all learned a lesson that "love invites loss", and it was probably the most valuable lesson that he ever learned
· entered the hospital in 1976
· the maximum growth of the tumour was at the top of the thoracic section of the spine(between the shoulder blades)
· signals from the lower body could no longer reach his brain, his body was no longer governed by a higher system of control (a disorder)
· first two weeks in hospital were taking test (blood samples, z-rays from all angles, 2 EMG's, arteriogram), the rest of the time he was answering questions, this happened for about three weeks
· then he got a CAT scan, and a myelogram
· the neurosurgeon came in and talked to him about the tests and how he would be a bad prospect for surgery because the tumour had wrapped around the spinal cord, making it hard to do without causing serious damage. As well one of the blood vessels that supplied the spinal cord with blood ran through the tumour, and they could not be tied off because the deprivation of blood would kill the cord.
· it was a no-win situation, and doing the surgery would produce immediate and catastrophic damage, while leaving the tumour would work its harm slowly
· the basic problem was that he was 55 years old when it was discovered, and if the "rheumatism" had been properly diagnosed, then he would have not had this problem
· he was told that the situation was far from hopeless, so instead of surgery the doctors recommended a course of cobalt therapy
· cobalt therapy began when he was in the hospital for seven weeks, four of them he was a outpatient
· the cobalt rays were aimed at his spine, but they kept on going and hit his digestive track
· due to the peculiarities of the tumour growth his left side was weaker than his right.
· other symptoms(muscle stiffness and weakness in torso and chest area) increased in number and severity
· mid-October 1976 he went to his neurologist for a check-up, and he was disturbed by the deterioration in my condition
· he was told that surgery was necessary regardless of the dangers.
· the radiotherapy had killed off some of the tumour, but not all of it, and it had produced negative side effects
· he re-entered to Neurological institute at the end of October, and had to wait to weeks for an opening on the surgery schedule
· he was sent and properly sedated to the operating room
· he woke up the next morning in the intensive care unit where his wife was and later he was wheeled to the fifth floor where he would recuperate for the next five weeks
· his mood after the first four days was ebullient, as if he had come back to life.
· he could raise his foot several inches off the ground (even though it was still weak) and could walk with the help of a nurse across that hall to the bathroom
· on the fifth day after the operation he woke up with a sense of fatigue, he could no longer raise his foot as high as he did the day before and his upbeat mood had turned in to depression
· the condition of his legs and arms had deteriorated and he could no longer walk
· the spasms in his legs and torso were also more intense, and he had a great deal of sensitivity, tingling and pain in his arms and hands(especially on his left side)